Bill Murray Admits a Painting Saved His Life
Back when I started acting in Chicago
I wasn't very good
I remember my first experience on the stage
I was so bad I just walked out
out on the street
and started walking
and I walked for a couple of hours
and I realized I'd walked the wrong direction
not just the wrong direction
in terms of where I lived
but the wrong direction
in terms of a desire to stay alive.
I walked then thought, well
if I'm going to die where I am
I might as well just go over towards the lake
and maybe I'll float for awhile after I'm dead.
I ended up in front of the Art Institute of Chicago
and I just walked inside
I didn't feel like I had any place being there
they used to ask you for a donation
I just walked right through
because I was ready to die
and pretty much dead
I walked in and there's a painting there
I don't even know who painted it
but I think it's called The Song of the Lark
and it's a woman working in a field
and there's a sunrise behind her
and I've always loved this painting
and I saw it that day
and I thought, well there’s a girl
who doesn’t have a whole lot of prospects
but the sun’s coming up anyway
and she’s got another chance at it.
So I think that gave me some sort
of feeling that I too am a person
and I get another chance
everyday the sun comes up.
I wasn't very good
I remember my first experience on the stage
I was so bad I just walked out
out on the street
and started walking
and I walked for a couple of hours
and I realized I'd walked the wrong direction
not just the wrong direction
in terms of where I lived
but the wrong direction
in terms of a desire to stay alive.
I walked then thought, well
if I'm going to die where I am
I might as well just go over towards the lake
and maybe I'll float for awhile after I'm dead.
I ended up in front of the Art Institute of Chicago
and I just walked inside
I didn't feel like I had any place being there
they used to ask you for a donation
I just walked right through
because I was ready to die
and pretty much dead
I walked in and there's a painting there
I don't even know who painted it
but I think it's called The Song of the Lark
and it's a woman working in a field
and there's a sunrise behind her
and I've always loved this painting
and I saw it that day
and I thought, well there’s a girl
who doesn’t have a whole lot of prospects
but the sun’s coming up anyway
and she’s got another chance at it.
So I think that gave me some sort
of feeling that I too am a person
and I get another chance
everyday the sun comes up.
Larry O. Dean was born and raised in Flint, Michigan. He attended the University of Michigan, where he won three Hopwood Awards in Creative Writing, and Murray State University's low-residency MFA program. His most recent books include Activities of Daily Living (forthcoming, 2017), Brief Nudity (Salmon Poetry, 2013), Basic Cable Couplets (Silkworms Ink, 2012), abbrev (Beard of Bees, 2011), and About the Author (Mindmade Books, 2011). Selected magazine publications include Berkeley Poetry Review, Passages North, Big Bridge, OCHO, Blue Fifth Review, and Defenestration. Also a critically-acclaimed songwriter, Dean has numerous releases to his credit, including Good Grief (2015), Fun with a Purpose (2009) with The Injured Parties, Gentrification Is Theft (2002) with The Me Decade, and Fables in Slang (2001) with Post Office. He was a 2004 recipient of the Gwendolyn Brooks Award. Seek him out at larryodean.com
